ladygray99 (ladygray99) wrote,

Everything You Need to Know (#1 Conversation)

Title: Everything You Need to Know
Author: ladygray99
Prompt: #1 Conversation
Word count: 300
Pairing: Ian, OC
Rating: R
Warning: none
Summary: Ian never though he'd have to give this talk.
Notes: Written for numb3rs100, part of A Silk Pillow ‘verse. We're down to the last handful. Each drabble is going to be jumping years and even decades.
Beta: riverotter1951

Everything You Need to Know (#1 Conversation)

Ian dropped his face to his hands. “Why are you asking me this?” he moaned.

Jonah Eppes shrugged. “It would be weird asking Dad.”

Ian peered through his fingers. Jonah had his mother’s face and his father’s complexion. It had made him a heartbreaker since age two. “And it’s not weird asking me?”

Jonah shrugged again in the universal language of all teenagers.

“Okay.” Ian gave in. “Do you want to have sex with her?” Jonah shrugged. “Well then you probably shouldn’t.”

“I don’t want her to dump me.”

Ian was of the opinion that the cheap tramp Jonah called a girlfriend should have been kicked to the curb long ago. “If she just wants you for sex then she doesn’t respect you and you shouldn’t be with her to begin with.” The eye roll Ian got was epic. “Fine you want advice? Always use protection.”

“I’m not an idiot.” Ian wondered if he would have been this stubborn at sixteen if his life had been normal.

“You’re sixteen. You’re clinically stupid.”

Jonah crossed his arms and tried to mimic his father’s interrogation face. It never quite worked coming from his mother’s more delicate features.

“I was just asking for a little advice Uncle Ian.”

Ian just knew Jonah wouldn’t leave until he coughed up the information. “I will tell you everything important I know about sex if you promise you’ll never tell anyone we had this conversation. Deal?”


Ian thought for a second “Always use protection. Always respect yourself, respect your partner and demand that respect in return. Never try to duplicate anything you’ve read about or seen in a movie, especially without stretching first. If you’re going to try something kinky have a safe word, multiple syllables, and there is no such thing as too much lubrication.”

The Importance of Paper and Funny Hats /Still Beautiful

Tags: 100's, a silk pillow, character: ian edgerton, fandom: numb3rs, rating: r
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