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23 November 2008 @ 07:51 am
(fic) A Woman Waits for Me 3/39  
Title: A Woman Waits for Me
Chapter
: 3/39
Author: ladygray99 
Pairing: Charlie/Colby
Summary: When Don’s life slides into the darkness only family will help him find his way out. – Chocolate Sundaes and antacids.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4,776
Warning: Discussion of Rape and Suicide and Drug Use
Disclaimer: Numb3rs belongs to other people who are not me. I’m not making any money from this though I wish I were.
Previous Chapters: Part 4 of Whitman ‘verse. 1 2
Authors Notes: The second part of this chapter was witting just the other day and has only really been looked over once so it might be a little rough but I felt it was need and this was really the only place to put it in the story.
Feedback: Hey all. This is like a year of my life on the screen and I’d really like feedback. I’d particularly like analytical feedback. I want to know what other people think I’m doing with the characters or their opinion on what might or should happen.
Betas:swingandswirl  and riverotter1951 

 

Part 3
The Smell of Melted Jellybeans and Lavender

The chicken was being laid on the table when Don let himself into his brother’s house, arms loaded with bags.

“Donnie, you’re just in time.”

“Hey, Don.” Charlie said lightly but cast a probing eye over his brother. “What’s in the bag?”

“All the fixings for chocolate sundaes.” Charlie gave him a questioning look. “And a jar of pickles in case you’re having cravings.”

Charlie threw his arms in the air. “Sorry I mentioned it.”

“Why sundaes?” Colby asked

“Actually, I’m keeping a promise to Charlie.” This time Charlie’s look was more confused than anything else.

“When did you ever promise me chocolate sundaes?”

“10th grade. I needed a B- in math to stay on the team. You stayed up ‘till four in the morning working me through a semester of back homework and lectures. I promised you chocolate sundaes and I keep my promises.” Don knew that Charlie would understand what he was saying without having to be blatant in front of their dad and Colby.

“Oh god, I remember that,” Charlie said. “I could not figure out how you went an entire semester without absorbing anything.”

“I had Miss Windfourth. The only thing I was absorbing was the sight of her cleavage.”

“Oh, I remember her.” Alan said, a slightly far away look on his face. “Very popular on parent/teacher night.” Colby laughed and Don went to put the ice cream in the freezer.

Dinner was light conversation. Don knew that Charlie knew that he had kept his promise so far, and Don knew that Colby probably knew everything. Charlie actually seemed to take it upon himself to carry the weight of the conversation, relaying updates on an interdepartmental feud between a couple of professors. The latest volley in the feud had been the re-hanging of an office door so it opened the other way. Don and Colby each ended up telling a few stories of classic Quantico pranks. Suddenly, mid-conversation, Charlie reached across the table and yanked the wishbone off the chicken carcass. He held it an inch from his face and bent it a few times before jumping up with a smile and sprinting to the garage.

“I wonder what that was?” Don asked.

“An excuse to get out of clearing the table?” Alan offered.

“DoD has him doing something on carbon fibers. Bet that’s it.” Colby said.

“Like we could understand it even if we knew.” Alan said. Both Don and Colby nodded in agreement.

~

Don stood in the garage, a bowl of ice cream in each hand. He cleared his throat softly just so Charlie would know he was there. Charlie raised one finger. He was almost out of board space anyways. The last line of the equation went down in a couple of seconds, Charlie threw his arms in the air in victory and spun around, a smile plastered to his face.

Eureka?” Don asked.

“Close, very close. I’m saving running naked through the streets for Cognitive Emergence.”

“What about P vs NP?”

“For that I am stripping naked in the middle of Times Square and announcing my personal godhood.”

Don nodded seriously. “Well, I look forward to posting bail.”

“You mock.” Charlie exclaimed waging his finger at Don. “When I achieve mathematical godhood you will be properly smited.”

“I’m sure.” Don handed Charlie one of the sundaes. He’d gone all out. The ice cream was almost impossible to find under the mound of whipped cream, chocolate sauce, sprinkles, nuts and a cherry. Charlie perched on the edge of the air hockey table while Don settled into the couch. Charlie took a bite.

“Mmmmm. I’m going to be awake all night on this.”

“Well consider it my contribution to the Charlie Eppes godhood campaign.” The two brothers ate in silence for several minutes before Don became aware of Charlie looking at him.

“How are you, Don?” Charlie asked. Don knew the question had to be coming but still just shrugged.

“I’m here.”

“Yes, you are.” Charlie said gently.

“I’m sorry about last night. You shouldn’t have been there.”

“Where else should I have been? In bed, sound asleep, no idea my only brother was hurting that bad?”

Don shrugged and pushed the ice cream around in his bowl.

“How are you doing, Charlie?” he asked, not really trying to change the subject but just feeling the need to get inside his brother’s head for a bit.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean...are you happy, is your life a good one?”

“Yeah.” Charlie answered softly. “It is.”

“You’re...you’re taking medication?”

“Very small doses, every other day. Doesn’t numb me like I was afraid it would. Just keeps the highs from getting too high, the lows from getting too low. Helps me keep control a little better.”

“But you’re happy?” Don asked again.

“Sure. I mean, life isn’t perfect, I still get angry, I still get frustrated, there are things I’d like to change, but I like my job, I like teaching, working with you, I have a house most of the city would kill for, I’m in love and I am loved back.” Charlie gave a shrug and a soft smile looking like he was a teenager again instead of well over thirty.

“What would you change?”

Charlie gestured at his black boards “That, for one.”

“Your equation?”

Charlie shook his head. “It’s military. I can sit here and tell myself that when it filters into the civilian world it’ll revolutionize people’s lives, but the Army’s got it first and I don’t know if it’ll kill more people or save them.” Charlie said with a sigh. “I try to balance my mathematical karma by working your cases. Not usually too much moral dilemma there. We are the good guys, they are the bad guys.”

“Here, here.” Don said raising his spoon in salute.

“Don, I’m sorry if I...if I triggered something. I don’t even know why I said what I did last night, must have been the beer or something. I never planned for you to know.”

Don felt like he’d been hit in the chest. Charlie was the last person who should be apologizing.

“I should be the one apologizing, for really a lot of things. I was already heading to a bad night and I just couldn’t get the...images out of my head, black thoughts, things I wish never happened.”

“Are they still there?” Charlie asked.

“Yes.” Don answered truthfully. Charlie nodded and focused on his ice cream. “I think I get why you do what you do.” Don said.

“What do you mean?”

“To get the numbers out of your head, the things you do. I just want these thoughts to go away for a few minutes, anything for a few minutes of quiet.” Charlie nodded again. “It works for you?” Don asked quietly. “The pain. It makes things quiet?” Don watched a Charlie closed his eyes for a moment a strange shake running through him. When he opened his eyes Don saw the same Charlie that had quietly given him orders last night.

“Stand up, Don.” Charlie said. Don found himself standing without a single conscious thought. Charlie took three long strides, stopping just at the edge of his personal space. “You want to know if it will work for you, that’s what you’re asking?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure you want to know this? Know this about me? Know this about yourself?”

“Yes.” Don said.

Charlie moved another step closer his hands clasped behind his back.

“You are my brother and I love you. Do you consent?”

“What?”

“Do you consent?”

Don looked at Charlie for a long moment. What he saw frightened him in so many ways.

“Yes.” He said.

“Good.”

Don yelped and fell back onto the couch as pain exploded in his side. “Holy fuck! Shit! You hit me!”

“Yes.”

“God damn! I think you broke a rib.”

“Do you want me to hit you again?”

“What?!”

“Do you want me to hit you again?” Charlie asked flatly.

“No!” Don snapped.

“The pain response, the adrenaline and endorphins, how does it make you feel?”

“I don’t know.” Don groused, gently poking at his side.

“Does it make you want to hit me back?”

“A little.”

“Does it make you want to run out and get yourself wild, brutal, sex, grab your ankles and not care who does what to you?”

“Not exactly, no!” Don couldn’t keep the horror out of his voice at what his brother was suggesting.

“Has it made your brain quiet, driven out the chatter of thoughts that won’t go away, even for a moment?”

Don closed his eyes. “No,” he said softly.

“Okay. Sorry Don, looks like you’re stuck with beer, therapy, and force of will like the majority of the population.” Don opened his eyes and looked at his brother.

“I think you broke a rib.”

“You consented.”

“I didn’t exactly know what I was getting myself into.”

Charlie closed his eyes. “Don, remember this moment. Mark it. Remember those words came out of your mouth.”

Charlie went back to the air hockey table and the dregs of his ice cream.

Don lay back on the couch and studied the rafters of the garage, while gingerly poking at his ribs. “God, is this what you make Granger do, sucker punch you in the ribs?”

Don heard Charlie’s spoon clang loudly against the bowl.

“Do you really believe Colby could take a swing at me like that?” Charlie asked, the anger and annoyance evident in his voice.

“No.” Don said truthfully.

“We have...rituals I guess you could say, rules, boundaries. It hurts him more that it hurts me.”

“Is that what he says?”

“No. But it does. It took me a very long time to get that. In the past it was always so easy for people to hurt me. I took it so well. I never considered there would be someone who wouldn’t, and it would be the one person I want to do it.” Don squeezed his eyes shut, horrible images of Charlie’s face superimposed across the worst cases of abuse and degradation he had seen. “Every day Colby tried to fix me he broke a little something of himself. It took a long time for me to get that. But we’ve...we’ve found a balance now. Found a way to make it work.”

Don rubbed his face with both hands. “I’m really screwed up right now, Charlie.” He said.

“Welcome to the club, you’re in good company.”

Don rolled his head over to look at his brother. “You know what I want, right now, really want?”

“What?”

“I want to get stoned.” Charlie laughed. “I’m serious. I really want to get stoned. Remember when you were like ten and we found Dad’s stash except it was really old and we couldn’t figure out how to roll a joint between the two of us?”

Charlie laughed. “And we heard someone coming home and had to hide it again really quick.”

“It’s probably still there.”

Don and Charlie looked at each other and jumped up. Fourth set of rafters, second cross beam, behind the little bit of drywall.

“Got it!” Charlie exclaimed, pulling down a rusted cookie tin. Don pried the lid open and began to laugh. He pulled out the worst rolled joint in history, suspicious green dust falling out of it.

“Hey, Chuck, what’s the half life of THC? Maybe we can lick it.” Don said, giggling. Charlie had collapsed into giggles himself. He reached into the box and pulled out a thin piece of card stock that had been left in the bottom in their youthful exuberance. Charlie held it up.

“Don, is this what I think it is?”

Don looked at the card and laughed. “Take a lick and find out.”

Charlie shook his head. “No way.”

“Come on.” Don gave Charlie a little poke in the ribs. “Forty year old acid. Can’t be that bad for you.”

“You first.”

“With my luck I’ll get a random test tomorrow.” Don said with a snort.

“Tell them it was in the name of science.”

“Only if you do it to. Hey, might help with P vs NP.”

“You know, Larry was stoned when he started his eleven dimension super gravity theory.”

Don leaned back and shook his head. “No way.”

“He was splayed out on his office floor in the middle of the night, going ‘wow, gravity, it’s soooo super.’” Don knew it wasn’t that funny and knew he couldn’t have inhaled that much of the suspicious green dust but he still couldn’t help the hysterics that came out of him. “He couldn’t reach a pen to write anything down, and didn’t want to move and disrupt the awesome, super force of gravity on his body so he ended up just dictating these weird ramblings to me while I dropped M and M’s into his mouth until he passed out.”

The image was too much for Don and he slid to the floor, holding his sides with laughter, Charlie right behind him. Which was just how Colby and Alan found them a moment later.

Alan took one look at the tin and his hysterically laughing sons and slapped his forehead. “What have you boys gotten into? Give me that.” Alan reached for the tin only to have it snatched away by Charlie.

“No way.” Charlie said.

“Finders keepers.”

“Yeah, this is our stash now, you’re trying to steal it.”

“What are you, The Man?” Don said, which only sent Charlie into fresh peals of laughter.

“Fine.” Alan said. “Put it back when you’re done amusing yourselves and I wouldn’t touch that card too much if I were you.” Don looked at the white card and seriously considered licking it just to shock his dad.

Charlie held it out. “You want the first hit old man?”

“Come on, what are you, a square?”

Alan rolled his eyes and wandered off muttering to himself. Colby just shook his head and followed Alan. For some reason, the departure of the two was also deemed hysterical and Don and Charlie leaned against each other laughing hard enough to cry for several more minutes.

Don couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed like that and certainly couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed like that with his brother. After they settled down and wiped their eyes, they boxed up the family felony and slipped it back behind the drywall for some future generation of nosy children to find.

“Hey, Charlie, mind if I spend the night tonight? Don’t really feel up to going back to my apartment.”

“Spend as much time as you want. Really, you may as well just move back in.”

“Are you nuts? I have enough trouble getting dates without admitting I’m living with my dad and brother. Plus, Colby practically lives here as is. It’s gonna start getting a little crowded.”

“There’s always room for you, Don.”

“Thanks, man. Seriously though, why doesn’t Granger just move in? He can’t be spending that much time at his place.”

Charlie got a slightly pained expression. “Well you know, Dad’s still here and what with everything...”

“They’re not getting along?”

“No, they get along fine. It’s not that he doesn’t like Colby. I just think he still kinda has problems with what Colby represents. You know, Fed, Army.”

“A guy.”

“Yeah, well.” Charlie shrugged. “Plus Colby’s neighbors are literally deaf, makes things a little more...freeing.”

Don put a hand over his eyes, trying not to think about what the two could get up to that would require deaf neighbors.

“You know what, forget I asked.”

~

Colby looked at his watch. 10 pm, time for all good little agents and mathematicians to go to bed. Alan had crawled off to bed a while back while Colby was finishing off paperwork. He wandered into the living room where Don and Charlie had been watching a B-grade movie on TV. The movie had ended and Colby was greeted by the cute, if somewhat funny, sight of Don passed out on Charlie’s shoulder mouth hanging open, drooling slightly. Charlie shrugged with his free shoulder looking rather amused. He turned his head and said something to Don which Colby couldn’t hear.

Don sat up with a bit of a start then looked around and rubbed his eyes. He got up and left the room, then quickly returned.

“Here.” He said trying to hand his gun to Charlie.

“Don...” Charlie pulled his hands away.

“I’m not going to do anything stupid, I just...I just don’t want it around tonight. Okay?”

Charlie nodded. “Okay.” He took the gun with what Colby couldn’t help feeling was just a little too much ease and checked the safety before unloading it with again more proficiency than Colby thought Charlie had.

Don gave Charlie a pat on the arm and a quick smile. “Sleep well.”

“You too.” Don climbed the stairs. When he was out of sight Charlie let out a long sigh and looked to Colby.

“Don’t worry.” Colby said. “He’ll find his way out.”

“I know. I just wish he wasn’t there to begin with.”

~

Charlie let himself sink into the warm soft couch of Dr. Anar’s office. The couch was plum velvet and the room was decorated in rich jewel tones. Switch the dark wood desk for a bed and it was easily a room for the most elite ladies of the evening. Colby had found her, like he had found Dr. Goldman, and like all of Charlie’s doctors and specialists she had been carefully vetted for discretion. Even with that Charlie had been unable to set foot in her office for the first two months. Every time he tried, he panicked, sure the men in white coats were about to pop out of the woodwork, haul him away, shoot him full of drugs and ruin his career. It was four months before he could have a session without Colby sitting there, holding his hand and armed to the teeth.

Charlie wished Colby was here now but that wasn’t an option. It wasn’t an option because he had lied to Colby. He didn’t do that often and it twisted in his stomach but laying there, warm and safe, five beers swimming in his head, he hadn’t been able to bring himself to say what happened. To say he remembered everything.

“He loved her,” Charlie said softly, letting his eyes focus on a mandala on the wall. He started to run the math of the twists and turns of the mandala in his head. He’d found this was the easiest way to get through these things, partition off his brain, let one part run math while another part screamed and wept and bled. He’d mastered that trick very quickly in Leacroft’s warehouse. “She was smart and gorgeous. She was even nice to me.”

“What happened between them?” Dr. Anar asked.

Charlie rubbed his hands along the couch, it was soft, warm, safe. “The birth of Don’s commitment issues happened. I’m not sure on the details, something about Rachael wanting him to go to a different college with her even though it wasn’t offering Don a scholarship, or something like that.” Charlie shook his head. “It got ugly fast. They probably would have been prom king and queen or something like that if they had just held out for a couple more months.”

“And the incident between you and her?”

Charlie took a deep breath, and another.

“I’d forgotten, well I’d blurred it all out.”

“She came to your home?”

Charlie closed his eyes, began to recite pi out in his head as far as he could remember. He knew as soon as he sat down he’d have to go through this, same way he’d been walked through other nightmares.

“She came to the house. I still liked her, she was still nice to me, not many were.”

“And there was no one else?”

Charlie shook his head. “She was just talking, asking me about Princeton, if I was excited. If I was excited about how I was going to be around all those college girls.”

“Were you?”

“I was excited that I might get the chance to study under Dr. Fleinhardt. I’d read some of Larry’s early work on string theory. The math was a little off in places but his writing was the first I’d encountered that put the numbers of the cosmos into poetry. I thought he might understand what was going on inside my head. It was half the reason I wanted to go to Princeton.”

“Well, weren’t you lucky on that count?”

Charlie smiled a bit, remembering the early days of him and Larry, like Jedi master and apprentice.

“Yeah I was.”

“What happened next?”

Charlie swallowed hard and his stomach began to clench. “She wanted to get something of hers from Don’s room.”

“What did you say?”

“I said she probably shouldn’t since Don wasn’t there. She told me I could go up with her to make sure she didn’t steal anything.” Charlie closed his eyes, bringing the memory into even sharper focus. “I’d forgotten, just... it didn’t come back in little pieces, just suddenly it was there.”

“I understand. You went upstairs with her?”

Charlie nodded. “I went upstairs. She went through his closet. I sat... I sat on Don’s bed and watched her.” Charlie’s stomach flipped over again and he could feel the blood pounding against his ears. “She turned around and looked at me watching her.” Charlie wrapped his arms around himself, wishing they were Colby’s.

“What did she do when she saw you watching?” Charlie shook his head. He didn’t want to go further. “Charles, what happened when she turned around?” Dr. Anar prompted gently.

“She...” Charlie stuttered. “She walked over, asked me if I was curious.”

“Were you?”

Charlie shook his head. “She started touching my face, my hair. Asked me if I was curious again. I...” Charlie clamped his teeth shut as his stomach rebelled. Dr. Anar casually pushed the wastebasket his direction. Charlie shook his head. He had made it a point not to eat anything but a roll of antacids that morning, having puked in Dr. Anar’s office enough times in the past to feel kinda bad about it. A little ball of bile rolled halfway up his throat and he quickly swallowed it back down.

“Take your time, Charlie.”

Charlie took deep breaths. Tried to disconnect, tried to find the words. “She pushed me back, got her hands under my clothes. It was summer, she was in a skirt. Polka dots. I estimated 237 polka dots on it. I told her no. I said stop, I actually said stop.” Charlie could feel the tears begin flow. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he could still hear Don calling him a cry baby. He tried to rub them away. “She wanted me to tell Don. God she wanted me to tell Don. She fucking knew what it would do to him. I can’t believe I did. Only took five beers and twenty years.”

“Charlie, how much sexual understanding did you have at the time?”

Charlie shrugged. “I knew where babies came from. I’d looked at a couple of Don’s Playboys. They didn’t do much. But one of them had an interesting article on Feynman.”

“How about your past experiences, with your tutors?”

Charlie shook his head. “I don’t know. I had some idea that some of that might have had something to do with sex, but really, I’d blocked out most of that and really didn’t have a frame of reference.” Charlie took some more deep breaths. “I can’t believe... she was always nice to me. She was better to me than Don some days. I can’t believe... she did that, she actually did that.”

“Do you think she was aware of the distress she was causing you?”

Charlie curled up on the couch and let his eyes focus on a random spot in the air. “I remember shivering. When she was done I just remember... I just kept shaking like it wasn’t the middle of summer.”

“You were probably in a mild case of clinical shock.”

“Mild clinical shock,” Charlie repeated the words carefully. “Is that a technical term for terrified out of your mind?”

“More or less. What did you do when she left?”

“I tried to clean up. Don hated me being in his room. I took a shower. She had this perfume, it was so sweet. Smelled like melted Jellybeans and lavender. I was still in the shower when Don came home. I sat in the bottom of the tub just terrified that he knew somehow and he was going to come in and pummel me for doing something with his girlfriend.”

“Ex-girlfriend.”

“Close enough.” Charlie closed his eyes and just tried to breathe for a moment. He’d taken a few classes in meditation at Dr. Anar’s suggestion in hopes that there would be other ways of quieting the numbers outside of pain. Charlie found it helped calm his brain a little but not enough to really be an effective option.

“Are you able to discuss the events of the other night?” Dr. Anar asked after Charlie had taken a couple of minutes just to breathe.

“I’m meant to be the broken one. Don’s stepping on my turf.”

“That must have come as quite a shock?”

“It’s funny. All those times I’ve sat on a radio and listened to Don or Megan or one of the guys talk down someone with a gun, that all kicked in. I guess learning is still what I do best. I didn’t grab for the gun or shout or make any quick movements, just talked slowly, calmly, tried to be reassuring.”

“That’s not a bad thing.”

“No. All those years I was falling apart, all the nights after bad cases when Don was telling me I did my best, all those times I was looking up at Don and wondering how he never got rattled, brushed it all off, he was going home sitting alone in the dark and sucking on the end of his gun.” Charlie quickly scrubbed at his eyes again. “I never knew. I never knew he was hurting that bad, that he felt that alone, that hopeless. And I can’t help felling it’s at least a little my fault.”

“How do you figure that?”

“Well, we can’t have two drama queens in the family. Someone’s got to be stoic.”

Dr. Anar chuckled a little. “Do you think he sees it that way?”

“Actually, yes. Poor crazy Charlie’s got enough problems. No point adding more. No point in telling him I want to blow my brains across the room.”

“Do you really think your brother wants to die?”

Charlie stared at the hand-carved wooden ceiling tiles. “I don’t think he’s actively seeking death but I don’t think he’d care if it found him.”

“So if you hadn’t come downstairs?”

“I think he would have sat there until morning, put his gun away, drunk a pot of coffee to wake up and told everyone everything was fine. At least until the next night, or the night after that.”

“Do you know if Don is currently seeking help?”

“Yeah, I made him promise to go see Dr. Bradford. He’s helped Don with some rough patches. Ex-LAPD. Doesn’t take shit, especially doesn’t take it from Don.”

“Well, that sounds good. Have you and Don spoken since that night?”

“He asked me to hit him,” Charlie said softly.

“Why would he do that?”

“The Dr. Eppes method for getting your brain to shut up. He didn’t want another night of me and Rachael and all the dead swimming around his head. Wanted to know if the pain would work.”

“And did you hit him?”

“Thirty years of noogies and short jokes, I sucker punched him in the ribs.”

Dr. Anar winced “Well, I’m sure that was cathartic for one of you.”

“It didn’t work, thank god. I can only retool the mental image I have of my brother so far. I want to curl up into a ball and cry about it as it is.”

“Have you?”

“Only a little. I can’t... Don needs me and not for the math for once. For once he needs me to be his brother not a computer on legs. I cannot crumble now, for any reason. Don’s carried me through so much, now I have to step up. My turn to be the strong one while Don heals.”

“And how long do you think you can manage that?”

“For as long as Don needs me to.”

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(Deleted comment)
ladygray99ladygray99 on November 22nd, 2008 08:02 pm (UTC)
:-) You're excused
ninou1ninou1 on November 22nd, 2008 09:43 pm (UTC)
Well it's really amazing, the many things and emotiosn you can pass on a chapter.

Don's way to tell Charlie he is gonna kept his promises with ice cream is subtle. I'm surprised Alan didn't want to know more about the why and just now...

It's actually nice to have a little more background, not only on the boys childhood, but on Charlie journéey to try to get better? He is well aware of what it does to his lover.

All of this is consistent and very well written.

ladygray99ladygray99 on November 22nd, 2008 09:48 pm (UTC)
Thank you. Consistent is good and subtle is good.
(Deleted comment)
ladygray99ladygray99 on November 22nd, 2008 11:24 pm (UTC)
your english is fine. certenly no worse than many native speakers. And it's not exactly the easiest language to begin with. I always appreciate your feedback even if it isn't perfect. How much Alan knows will be reveled latter.
ninou1ninou1 on November 23rd, 2008 12:13 am (UTC)
Oops, bad manipulation for my precedentpost, sorry.

I'm really looking forward to Alan reaction, I'm kinda fan of this character, always balancing his son in his own way, even if it's clealy not suffisant in this story. There's only so much a father can do.
ladygray99ladygray99 on November 23rd, 2008 12:15 am (UTC)
That's true but Alan will have his place in what is coming up.
Devo79devo79 on November 22nd, 2008 10:57 pm (UTC)
I was laughing my ass off and then I was sad and then I wanted to hug Charlie.
ladygray99ladygray99 on November 22nd, 2008 11:25 pm (UTC)
Then I guess I did it right.
mikes_grrl on November 22nd, 2008 11:29 pm (UTC)
I love the ice cream as symbolic of apology. Don really WILL make a good husband someday! hahahahaaaa!!!!

The scene with Charlie in the garage was wonderful. Charlie's "test" was surprising and effective, but personally I think Charlie missed it. Don stood up without question when Charlie told him too. Come to think of it, they BOTH missed that. Don wants EXACTLY what Charlie has, but in a different way, because pain doesn't do it for him. Don needs the "freedom" of rules, of orders given and followed. He needs the luxury of NOT being the strong, stoic one in command, but he can't give over to that unless it is with someone he really, really trusts. I appreciate the fact that this IS NOT Charlie/Don fic, for a lot of reasons, but I wonder who in the hell ELSE in Don's life is there he trusts that much?

The last few lines, about Charlie being strong, conflict me. Something about it is ominous...or have you just made me paranoid? Not that I don't believe Charlie can do that, but it is EXACTLY what Don has always done for him, and look at the cost for him.

Gah! Want more! Nowish!
ladygray99ladygray99 on November 22nd, 2008 11:37 pm (UTC)
Me omonus, foreshadowing, subtext maybe? Nah. this is just fic. no literary value what so ever. especially coming from someone with two liberal arts degrees. As for who Don trusts? well that is a question and there really is no easy answer, is there?
batgurl10batgurl10 on November 23rd, 2008 12:34 am (UTC)
*LOVES* on this hard!

the test, thank you! i didnt know whether to laugh or cry--but now I wanna see stoned charlie fic! I hope someone indulges me? You know its tomorrow somewhere on earth, part 4?
ladygray99ladygray99 on November 23rd, 2008 12:38 am (UTC)
I thought you and mikie would find the test intoresting. I almost wish I was able to write fast enough and well enough to tune the story to reactions as I go however that's just not an option. And yes I know it's tomorrow somewhere but from where I am it's still yesterday in most of the world so you're lucky to get this. and don't worry. tomorrow and really the next several parts seriously less intense. down right fluffy in places.
fredbassettfredbassett on November 23rd, 2008 09:28 pm (UTC)
“Well, we can’t have two drama queens in the family. Someone’s got to be stoic.”

LOL, lovely moment. Great story. A lovely blend of angst and quiet contemplation.
ladygray99ladygray99 on November 23rd, 2008 09:38 pm (UTC)
Thank you. These chapters were written almost a year ago and I've looked them over so many times I almost can't see them any more. Hope you like the next part.
twins_m0m on November 24th, 2008 08:17 pm (UTC)
Another chapter with a subtle mix of humor, love, angst, and pain. I'm glad that Charlie is trying to step up to the plate and be the strong one for Don. I just hope he can keep it up. The garage scene was both hilarious and poignant. Charlie's session, painful. I'm glad you added it. It makes me wonder who else has used Charlie for their own desires, not caring about the damage they caused him. I find it interesting that both your Don and the Don in canon are searching for answers that are larger than themselves.
ladygray99ladygray99 on November 24th, 2008 09:34 pm (UTC)
it's kinda scary how many things I've written in this fic over the last year that have suddenly become cannon. I've been wondering if the writers are somehow in my hard drive.

whitman 5 which will swing back to Charlie and Colby will have some parts that I'm not really looking forward to writing that will go into Charlie's past tramas.
laura_trekkielaura_trekkie on January 16th, 2009 12:07 am (UTC)
I loved the garage scene. It was good to see Don and Charlie just laughing like kids. I was also glad to see that Charlie's methods of quieting his mind don't work for Don. It means Don's got to look elsewhere, which isn't so great for him, but it really would have been a big stretch to retool the mental image of Don.

I like Dr Anar. She's obviously been very patient if it took Charlie two months to even get into her office (for understandable reasons). She also knows how to get Charlie talking through the difficult memories without pushing too hard and causing him to just shut down and retreat completely into the maths. He lied to Colby about what he remembered, but is it a lie he'll stick to, or will he tell Colby the truth at some point?

Laura.
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 16th, 2009 12:13 am (UTC)
the truth always comes out. Dr. Anar wasn't in the first draft or even the final draft. The whole scene got written just a day or so before I posted the chapter so I'm glad she came out well. She didn't get nearly as much polishing as other OCs
fractalmoonfractalmoon on November 26th, 2012 09:38 am (UTC)
So much good dialogue! Especially enjoyed the contrast between the intensity of the "test" scene, and then cracking up together finding Alan's stash.

I also enjoyed getting some more details on Charlie's relationship with Larry.

What was this about? Was Charlie molested by one or more of his tutors?

“How about your past experiences, with your tutors?”

Charlie shook his head. “I don’t know. I had some idea that some of that might have had something to do with sex, but really, I’d blocked out most of that and really didn’t have a frame of reference.”



Edited at 2012-11-26 09:39 am (UTC)
ladygray99ladygray99 on December 3rd, 2012 04:18 pm (UTC)
Yeah, some bad people got their hands on Charlie when he was young. It was the start of him being messed up.