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24 January 2008 @ 09:36 am
Sing My Body Electric - 8/8  
Title: Sing My Body Electric
Author: ladygray99
Chapter: 8/8
Pairing: Charlie/Colby
Rating: NC-17, FRAO P SC GV
Disclaimer: Belongs to other people, not me.
Warnings/Squicks: Violence, Violent Sex, BDSM, and people talking about their feelings.
Summary: With love comes danger both from without and within.  – Some words are harder to say than others.
Previous chapters: 1  2  3  4  5  6  7
Notes: The long awaited much feared sequel to The Modern Man I Sing.   The second part of Whitman ‘verse.  Here there be dragons.
Feedback: This is the end so your overall thoughts feelings and opinions would be nice.
Beta(s):The wonderful riverotter1951 and ri_se tackled this fic, except for the bits I added ten minutes ago.




Part 8

Say Stop


 Colby sat down across from Don. Don pushed a piece of paper across the table to Colby.

 “Request for transfer denied.”

 “Don..?” Colby began to protest.

 “No. Shut up. I never said two words about you and Charlie because it never affected your work. If anything it got better. It’s been a month now and you’re both like ghosts. Charlie hides it better but you both just drift through your days, you do your work off muscle memory. I can’t use ghosts and neither can anyone else in the Bureau but at least here people can keep an eye on you and there’s a chance you might snap out of it. Now I don’t know if you broke Charlie or if Charlie broke you or if some part of both of you just up and died on that warehouse floor but this needs to be fixed.”

 “I can’t fix it Don.”

 “Have you tried?”

 “I can’t do it.”

 “If you can’t fix it then you need to make a clean break but one way or another, this has got to end.”

 “I think I love him, Don.”

 “That’s really not my problem. You trying to run yourself to death at the gym every night is, and yes everyone knows about that.”

 Colby put his head in his hands. “This is killing me.”

 “No it’s not.” Don let out a long breath. “You just wish it would. Give me your gun.”

 Colby’s head snapped up. “What?”

 “I’ve see that expression on my own damn face too many times. Give me your gun.” Colby pulled out his gun slowly and handed it over. “All of them. Colby pulled one out of his ankle holster and retrieved one from the small of his back. “It’s almost the end of the day. Go home.”

 “I’ve still got stuff...”

 “Go home. Go straight home and think about how you’re going to work this out then call Charlie and deal with it and if he doesn’t hear from you in three hours I’m sending him to your place anyways.”


 “This has gone on long enough. I’m not going to lose you both.”

 Colby nodded and stood up, his legs feeling shaky. He picked up the rejected transfer request and walked out the door.


 Colby went home and didn’t call Charlie. He cleaned his apartment and didn’t call Charlie. He cleaned out his fridge. He didn’t call Charlie. Colby was standing in the middle of his living room floor contemplating rearranging the furniture when he heard a rattle at his door. His heart jumped into his throat and tried to squeeze off his air. It took only a moment for the door to open and close and for someone to walk down the hall. Charlie took a step into the living room and stopped.

 “Hi.” Charlie said.


 “Don sent me.”

 “I know.”

 “He told me he knows everything.”

 “He had a gun.”

 “You requested a transfer?” Colby shrugged. “I see.”

 Colby wasn’t sure what to say. “How have you been, Charlie?”

 Charlie shrugged “I’ve embraced the math. Every day I give it a little more.”

 “You’re not..?”

 “No. It’s not allowed, remember? So what can I do?”

 “I can...” Colby stuttered. “I can release you from the Arrangement.”

 Charlie hit the wall with his fist with such force Colby jumped. “I don’t want release. I want to be clean, I want him off me!” Charlie took a step forward. “You can do it. All you have to do is touch me and he gets further away until he’s statistically insignificant.”

 “I won’t hurt you. I won’t be like him. I won’t let you make me like that!”

 “I need you to do this for me.”

 “What about me? I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t ask to become this. You say hurt me, you say love me, you say jump I jump and all I want to hear you say is stop!”

 Charlie spread his arms wide. “I’ve stopped. I’ve stopped it all because you said so and all that’s in my head now is numbers and his voice and the sound of my own screams.”

 “I only ever wanted to fix you.” Colby said softly.

 “I can’t be fixed. I’m thirty years beyond fixing. You saved me, every rule, every touch, every pain saves me. Can’t that be enough?”

“I won’t be like him.”

“If you were anything like him I wouldn’t be here you idiot.” Charlie hissed out savagely. “You are nothing like anyone else. Don’t you get that? No one else has ever done what you have done, no one else knows what you know, I may have asked you to love me but you didn’t give me any choice in the matter!” Colby searched for words. Charlie sounded like he might cry but his eyes were free of tears. Charlie lowered his head. “Bastard.” He uttered harshly then turned and walked away.


Colby knocked insistently on the door to Charlie’s house. When it finally opened Alan Eppes stood there with murder in his eyes. Colby bowed his head and tried to look small.


“Agent Granger.” There was frost in his voice.

“Is Charlie here?”


Colby knew he didn’t deserve the inch he wanted Alan to give him. “Can I see him?”

“I don’t know. He came in here using words I didn’t think he knew in reference to your name.”

Colby closed his eyes. “I screwed up Alan. I’m sorry. I need to try and make it better.”

“I’d save that ‘I’m sorry’ for Charlie.” Colby nodded. “I don’t know what you did but I recommend groveling.” Alan stepped aside from the doorway. “He’s in the garage. He’s working on P vs NP.” Colby ran before he completely lost Charlie, he slowed down only long enough to accept a dirty look from Don.


Charlie knew someone had entered the garage, he waited for the air flow to tell him who it was. Colby’s cologne and shampoo and gun oil swirled around him.

“I have no desire to speak to you at present.” Charlie said tersely.

“Charlie I’m sorry.” Colby said.

Charlie spun around. “If the words ‘lets be friends’ are about to come out of your mouth I will shove an eraser up your ass.”

“No. I just...” Colby stood dumbly almost as if he were unable to make a sound. Charlie threw a piece of chalk.

“Say something.” Charlie hissed.

Colby shook his head. “I lost the words.”

Charlie ground his teeth together and turned his back. He looked at the board. The equations seemed angry, imposing, he didn’t care, he wanted their offered oblivion, he wanted them to fill his mind, overwrite any feeling, any other thought.


Colby dropped his head. He saw Charlie’s shoulders relax, his hand flowing across the board. Long ago he’d dubbed this the math mediation but now he knew Charlie was running from him, drowning his anger in the math.

“Pleasepleasepleaseplease.” Colby heard the never ending word come from his lips. His head sank lower and he followed it down, his body taking the penance for his stubbornness. Knees to the floor, backside to heels, forehead to the floor, arms clasped behind back, fingers interlaced, elbows together. He felt his muscles burn, he tried to breath. ‘Please’ became ‘I’m sorry.’ He felt the laces of his shoes cut into the top of his feet. Years of chalk dust on the floor coated his lips, his tongue, his lungs, tasted of Charlie’s fingers.

“I’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorry” Charlie had knelt like this for hours, the position of a prisoner in complete surrender. Colby felt something pop in his knee, his thighs burned. “I’msorryI’msorryI’msorry.”


Charlie’s hand flew across the board, the clock in the hall ticked by the minutes. The chalk broke and fell, Charlie hung his head. He turned not seeing Colby at first, thought he had left, finally given up. His eyes wandered downwards.

“Get up.” The words sounded strangely hollow in his ears. Colby didn’t move. “Get up, you’ll hurt yourself.” He took a few steps, stood over the man who had so often stood over him “Get up. Please.” He could hear Colby now.


Charlie went easily to his knees, one fluid movement, once so well practiced. He put his hands on Colby’s head.

“Sit up. Please.”

Colby rolled his body back, took a deep breath, the denied lungs filling of their own accord. His eyes did not meet Charlie’s but were planted firmly on the floor.


“I’m sorry.” He said “I’m sorry for my fear, I’m sorry for my denial, I’m sorry for my presumptions, I’m sorry for my stupidity.” He wanted to hold Charlie, to never again see wrath in the man’s eyes. He kept his hands behind his back, closed his eyes. He would take whatever was given.

“I’d wondered how long we could last, how long we could go letting ourselves feel. Perhaps we could go back to what it was before, slip through a worm hole, that night in the alley. Stop ourselves, keep our secrets, secret.”

Colby shook his head. “No, no wormholes, no backtracks. I want to go forward, I want to love you, and to keep loving you, I want to be the one on your skin, and in your heart, when you sing I want to believe it’s only for me and the angels. I only want you to shed tears under my hands when you need to and make you pancakes the morning after.” Colby finally raised his eyes and looked at Charlie. “I want to do whatever it takes to have your forgiveness.”

Charlie looked into Colby’s eyes. He saw equations, probabilities, numbers that spelled out the most statistical likely conclusion. He put his hands on Colby’s face, and felt the warmth. “You’re right, no going back, I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry, I was never fair to you, never should have done what I did to you that night. But I wanted you so much. I wanted you to be the one on my skin. I want to be in your heart, I want you to make my body sing just for you and no one else. I need you to forgive my own selfishness, and arrogance, and foolishness.” Colby gave a tight nod. Charlie pulled Colby’s arms around and held his hands. “No one else, past or future.”

“No one else, past or future.” Colby repeated. Charlie leaned in and kissed him.


“You watched this?” Bradford asked.

Don nodded his head. “There’s a place where if you stand on your toes you can peak into the garage.”

“You watched all of it?”

“I snuck away when they started kissing.”

“You probably shouldn’t have been there at all.”

Don sighed. “I know but Charlie’s my brother. Colby’s one of my best agents when he’s on his game. I couldn’t not know, couldn’t not be there for backup, you know, in case something went bad.”

“I understand, you need to protect your team and your brother and it was a dangerous situation for the both of them.”

“I...I tried to get in that position, that Colby was in, damn near dislocated my shoulder, my knee still feels funny, lasted about twenty seconds.”

“Why did you do that?”

Don shrugged “I wanted to know why. Why like that?”

“What did you find?”

“It’s completely vulnerable. You can’t uncurl yourself fast enough to protect yourself, can’t see what anyone is doing, can’t get a full lung of air. Charlie could have kicked him in the head, snapped his neck, he wouldn’t have stood a chance. And it hurt. He must have been like that for five minutes and I don’t believe he’s that much more flexible than me. I think he would have stayed like that forever, until Charlie forgave him, or made a clean cut.”

“But Charlie forgave him?”


“Are you happy for them?” Don though about his answer. This is why he’d snuck in a lunch time appointment, he’d felt so damned confused all night.

“I’m jealous.” Don answered.

“Of which one?” Bradford asked with some trepidation.

“Not jealous in that way. I just...I just can’t think of a girl that’s been mad at me that I would trust not to kick me in the head in the same situation and I can’t think of a single girl I’d risk it for and certainly not a one who’d be on the other end.”

“Well maybe you haven’t found the right girl.”

Don gave a half laugh. “That’s the understatement of the decade.” Don looked at his hands for a moment contemplating his thoughts “What they said to each other wasn’t just forgiveness, it wasn’t you’re sorry, I’m sorry. It was a marriage. They were on their knees, making vows, with only me, god and the math as witnesses.”

“Do you think they see it that way?”

“No one else, past or future. That’s what they said. And the way they said it, it wasn’t let’s be exclusive, let’s give it a try, no one else, past or future.” Bradford let the words mill around in his head. From what he knew of the men involved it must have been a heck of a fight and no doubt sooner or later he’d get the details and hopefully this turn of events would be good for the both of them but first he had Don to think of.

“You want my advice Don?”

“That’s why I’m here.”

“Get a puppy.”

“Excuse me?” Don wasn’t sure if he heard right.

“Get a puppy, you’ll get unconditional love, it’ll make you stick to a better schedule in your life which will be a handy skill when you do find a woman, plus taking it for walks, puppy training classes, great opportunity to meet like minded women. Guy who’s good with a dog is probably good with kids, women will like that. And even if you don’t get a date at least you’ll have company.”

Don was fairly sure his eyebrows had melded with his ever creeping hairline. “A puppy?”

“For now Don, I think you’re ok. I think you’re a little lonely like damn near everyone else in this city. I think you’re a little jealous of Agent Granger ‘cause your baby brother’s going to go to him with some of his problems instead of you, and I think you’re a little jealous of Charlie ‘cause he’s found someone willing to put up with all his shit and you haven’t.” Don laughed knowing Bradford was probably right. “You’ll be fine Don. You dash around this city like a knight in shining armor protecting us from evil, sooner or latter you’re bound to run into someone who’ll swoon at your feet and tie your shoelaces together while she’s down there.”

Don nodded. “Ok. That works. A puppy?”

“Buy lots of newspaper.”


Colby had been fidgeting all day and not because it was Friday. He and Charlie had done nothing more than kiss in his garage, there was still too much to do and too much to say. Charlie would be at his place tonight. David looked at Colby as he glanced at his watch for the fifth time in ten minutes.

“What’s the matter? You got a hot weekend or something?” David joked.

“Why? You want details?” Colby retaliated.

David put his hands in the air. “Not my bag.”

“You sure, ‘cause I can draw you diagrams?”

“Yep I’m sure.” David retread back to his desk. It wasn’t that Colby hadn’t handled a lot of ribbing and a couple of looks in the last month it was just that he couldn’t handle it today.

Don came out of his office. “Ok people. We’re not going to get anything more tonight. Go home. Take the files with you. Call if you find anything that you missed before.” Agents started packing their bags. Don got Colby’s attention and motioned him over.

“Yes Don?”

Don lowered his voice. “Send him home in tears and rage again and I will end you.”

“It won’t happen.”

“Good. You’re also booked in for a long talk with my father, very soon.” Colby nodded. That was not a talk he was looking forward to. “Go home.” Colby nodded again and practically ran from the building. Part of him wasn’t eager to get home. He had an idea of what was waiting. For all the soft kisses and gentle touches there was something Charlie still needed, something hardwired into him, something he’d been denied, something Colby had to provide.

Colby unlocked his door. He was half expecting music. He wandered into the living room.

All the furniture, what little there was, had been pushed aside. Even the stereo had been unplugged and moved, the room looked barren. Charlie stood in the middle, naked, eyes beginning to shine but in control. It would be a toss up as to whether or not he could say stop tonight. He held the belt in his hands.

“Get undressed.” He said to Colby. Colby didn’t question. He striped his clothes quickly, he wondered as to the picture they made, naked like this. Colby could feel himself already breathing hard.

Charlie held out the belt. “Every inch of me. Erase what is past, until you know it and I know it.” Colby took the belt he hadn’t actually worn in well over a year. It felt oddly heavy in his hand. Charlie turned around and stood spread eagle in the room. Colby could see the still slightly pink flesh where that bastard’s ropes had cut into him. Colby raised his arm and struck there first.

The blows fast became rhythmic, hypnotic, each one providing the only sound in the room. Charlie made not a sound, his breath steady, becoming calm and slow. Halfway through Colby thought he heard a sob, he looked at Charlie’s face and saw only serenity, he realized the sound must have come from his own throat but kept going.

Colby laid a final blow that whipped around Charlie’s wrist leaving it angry red like the rest of his body. Charlie didn’t move, didn’t flinch, and had held his arms in that impossible position for nearly an hour. Colby dropped the belt and took a breath as if the room had been deprived of oxygen until that moment. Charlie opened his eyes. Colby envied the look he saw there. They were the look of eyes completely at peace. Charlie reached out his arms and gathered Colby into them. Both men collapsed to the floor.

“Thank you, love.” Charlie whispered in Colby’s ear. Colby could feel the heat pour off of Charlie’s skin. He hoped it would burn him in some way. Colby took another deep breath. Later he would carry Charlie to bed, in the morning they would make love, in the morning he would ask Charlie to be inside him for the first time, in the morning only half the pancakes would be burnt, in the morning they would have a long talk, but that was all in the morning. For now Colby just wanted to hold Charlie and be held by him.


“It’s been a while, how are you?” Bradford asked.

“I’m good.” Colby replied.


“Yeah. Things were rough for a bit there but they’re better.”

“You don’t sound so sure.”

Colby shook his head. “No. I’m very sure about a few things now. I guess I’ve just had a shock to the system. Still feeling a little brittle at times.”

“So things are good between you and Charlie?”

“Yeah. We...um...we actually talked.”

“That is good.” Colby nodded and absently rubbed the ring on his right hand. “And picked up some new jewelry I see.”

Colby looked down at his hand. “Just this weekend. It took a while to find one that didn’t interfere with my shooting grip too much. Still had to spend a couple of days on the range.” Colby slipped off the plain gold band and turned it around in his fingers a few times before handing it to Bradford to look at. Bradford looked at the inside and wasn’t surprised to see an equation engraved there.

“What does the equation mean?”

“Charlie says it’s the start of a long proof that states in certain multidimensional high end math that one plus one is actually greater than two.”

“Sum is greater than its parts.”

“Basically.” Bradford handed the ring back and Colby slipped it on his finger.

“What does it say in Charlie’s ring?”

“As Souls only understand Souls.”



“Does it feel natural?”

“Yes.” Colby slipped it back off his finger and on to his left hand. “It feels more natural here.  But were not there yet.”

“That’s still a sign of some serious commitment.”

“We’re not moving in quite yet, we’re still a little too attached to our own space, but we don’t spend nights apart anymore. Had a long talk with Alan.”

“And how’d that go?”

Colby shifted uncomfortably. “You know, for a man who claims to be a pacifist he can go to some really dark places. I mean Don just threatened to end me. I can handle that, it’s to be expected. Alan kept mentioning cheese graters.” Bradford quickly crossed his legs in sympathetic fear. “And band saws and the feeding habits of koi.”

“So if you vanish we need to dredge the Eppes koi pond?”

“I think Alan and I have had a basic meeting of minds. I think.”

“Well getting along with the in-laws is always good.” Colby nodded but kept looking at his hands. “So what’s got your head twisted around today?”

“Charlie’s agreed to see a psychiatrist. His doctor recommended someone who would be discreet.”

Bradford blinked a few times in surprise. “Well that’s good news.”

“He’ll go, as long as I go with him.”


Colby closed his eyes. “And I am terrified.”

“Do you know why?”

Colby nodded. “Oh yes. I’m terrified that...I know that Charlie has had bad things done to him...He doesn’t consider himself a victim because he more or less consented to a lot of it. I’m terrified I’m going to find out about things that weren’t consensual or things when he was under age and I know I’m going to hate myself that I wasn’t there to stop it and if I find out names, well I might have to hunt down some people and kill them.”

“I’m going to note down that you meant that as a joke.” Colby shrugged “Colby let me ask you a question. Are you happy?”

Colby didn’t answer right away. He actually thought about it, thought about the last month, getting to hold Charlie in his arms every night, Alan’s slow grudging forgiveness, the ribbing from other agents becoming acceptance. “Yes.” He finally answered.

“Good. Keep that feeling and you’ll make it through whatever darkness gets dredged up. The past hurts but the past is the past.”

“Only if you accept the theory that time and space is linear.”

“You two must have the weirdest pillow talk.”

Colby laughed. “You have no idea.”

“Keep that laughter. You’ll be fine, and I’m always here.”

“Ok.” Colby nodded and took a deep breath. “Ok.”

“Oh. And when Charlie kisses you goodbye on the walkway could you ask him not to lock his ankles behind your head in full view of the entire building. It’s sending all my closet cases into fits again.”

Colby blushed. “He’s just being affectionate.”

“Bullshit. He’s showing off and marking his territory.”

Colby laughed. “I’ll ask him to keep the showing off to the math. But no promises.”

“Ok. Good luck.”

“I think I’ve already got that, Doc. I think my luck is very, very good.”




ONLY themselves understand themselves, and the like of themselves,
As Souls only understand Souls

- Perfections, Leaves of Grass, Walt Whitman

The End


Previous   From Pent-Up Aching Rivers



Gwaihirilgwaihiril on January 23rd, 2008 09:17 pm (UTC)
My overall thoughts and feelings - first, I was a little wary when I first read this, because I'm not a huge fan of BDSM and violent sex, but I had really enjoyed your vignettes and the gumballs 'verse, so I decided to give The Modern Man I Sing a try, and then had to read the sequel to see what happened. Obviously I ended up loving it. I think a lot of that is because of your characterization, like I mentioned before, and, well, the plot made sense. The BDSM was obviously a central part of the story, but the story was about so much more.

I'm glad Don pushed them into speaking, even if their first conversation didn't go far. Don was awesome in this story, though I had to laugh when Bradford's response to Don being jealous was "Get a puppy." I like that you wrapped everything up, but you didn't try and solve everything within the story, just let there be progress. It's not sappy happy ending for Colby and Charlie, but it is happy, and their rings are wonderful. It's so them - the formula, the poetry, making sure the ring doesn't interfere with Colby shooting a gun.

I look forward to the coda and sequel whenever they are ready.
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 23rd, 2008 09:47 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you stuck with it. I know a lot of people have squicks they won't bother to read around. Coda is up sequel...well give me six months or so. ;-)
Falconfalconoflight on January 23rd, 2008 09:18 pm (UTC)
good from start to finish. right pacing and it almost brought me to tears. you did a wonderful job
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 23rd, 2008 09:48 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I was a little worried about how it paced out. The outline (yes I outline my fanfic) went through several drafts trying to get the flow right.
Devo79devo79 on January 23rd, 2008 09:27 pm (UTC)
"Alan kept mentioning cheese graters. And band saws and the feeding habits of koi."

And can we say ouch!

“You two must have the weirdest pillow talk.”

ladygray99ladygray99 on January 23rd, 2008 09:49 pm (UTC)
Big ouch. Alan tries not to be judgmental but that doesn't mean he has to be a pushover.
One Part Exuberance; Two Parts Obsession: charlie/colbypenguingal on January 23rd, 2008 09:28 pm (UTC)
*breathes for the first time in like forever*

Oh my god. This was so wonderfully done. So wonderful. I got sucked in and it just would NOT let me go. The snark and the dark bits of humor, the really quite hot yet disturbing bits of sex... this is just so much perfection. Really.

Thank you.
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 23rd, 2008 09:49 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading and liking this. it's all a writer can ask for.
(Deleted comment)
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 23rd, 2008 09:50 pm (UTC)
I forgive you. Adore away ;-)
fredbassettfredbassett on January 23rd, 2008 09:33 pm (UTC)
*happy sigh*

I really loved this series and the ending certainly didn't disappoint :)

I've been catching up on LJ today so I've had the pleasure of reading this all the way through in one evening and I've enjoyed it hugely. THANKS!!
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 23rd, 2008 09:33 pm (UTC)
You're welcome, go read the porny coda :-)
Heatheraslin on January 23rd, 2008 09:58 pm (UTC)
The past hurts but the past is the past.”
“Only if you accept the theory that time and space is linear.”

I think that those are the most wonderful lines ever. I can't wait for the rest of the series. Great job.
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 23rd, 2008 09:59 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I'm afraid it might be a bit of a wait. The story is proving to be very long and spans almost two years of time.
kabloinko: Charbykabloinko on January 24th, 2008 01:43 am (UTC)
First of all thank you for putting up the last parts all at once, the anticipation was killing me heh.
This was just such a great story to read :) The fourth part took a turn I wasn't expecting and the rest just kept me going wow!
This is so going on my list of all time favorites!
Other reactions except Wow! was; "ohh! Awww :( *lmao* Yay \o/ *hysterical giggle* Oh ffs! Omg! Oh nooo! Kill him, slowly, NOW!" ;)

You have such an amazing talent, just.. Wow!
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 25th, 2008 09:18 pm (UTC)
I'm always glad to make someone's favorites lists. I try to up my writing game with each story. I'm already looking at this one and thinking I can do better with the next.
(Anonymous) on January 24th, 2008 02:49 am (UTC)
Absolutely beautiful. Thanks for writing and sharing it.-Nocturna
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 25th, 2008 09:21 pm (UTC)
My pleasure. :-)
MoiraiThanatoio: CharlieColby_toldDonmoiraithanatoio on January 24th, 2008 03:24 am (UTC)
This whole thing was brilliant and lovely... and made so much sense!! I truly loved it. Thank you!
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 25th, 2008 09:22 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading it. I glad I could make the dark warped holes in my head make sense.
shara50 on January 24th, 2008 03:47 am (UTC)
Excellent and very powerful!!
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 25th, 2008 09:23 pm (UTC)
Thank you.
Queen of Useless Knowledge: Robindemarcos_btoast on January 24th, 2008 06:07 am (UTC)
Okay, going to review them all in one fell swoop....

I think that you portray one of the best characterizations of Don and Alan when it comes to protecting and caring for Charlie and that is rarely done. Most authors give them two dimensions and don't weave them as well as you.

We see Don go from extremely angry, irrational and close minded about Charlie and Colby to barely accepting then compassionate and neutral, then right back to angry in a well written circle never ending circle

The very idea of what you have written broadens the scope of Charlie's genius psyche to the extent of what kind of torture the truly gifted must endure at the hands of both their parents, colleagues and peers.

Add into the equation Colby, who is teetering on a very dangerous precipice when it comes to his love for Charlie and his personal disgust on what he does to the one he loves, while knowing all the while it has to be done makes for some very enthralling fiction.

In mathematical terms, you just made string theory look like non-linear dynamics.

Praises be sung on this body of work!
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 25th, 2008 09:25 pm (UTC)
Wow! That's one heck of a review and I think it's my first math review :-) I try to keep my characters truthful with motivations for their actions at least within the bounds of the story. I'm glad it worked and you liked it.
(no subject) - demarcos_btoast on January 26th, 2008 09:42 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ladygray99 on January 26th, 2008 04:31 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - demarcos_btoast on January 27th, 2008 09:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ladygray99 on January 27th, 2008 09:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
devon99 on January 24th, 2008 07:35 pm (UTC)
Have just finished reading this story. I was slightly wary of reading it to start with as I prefer lighter fic such as your fantastic vignettes verse, but I thought I would give it a try as I like your work. I found it slightly disturbing but ultimately gripping and enjoyable in a dark kind of way, which is testamony to the quality of your writing. Your characterisation is spot on, everyone felt fully rounded and reacted in ways that seemed truthful, and not beyond the realms of possibility.
Thanks for an enjoyable read.
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 25th, 2008 09:27 pm (UTC)
Thank you for giving it a try even if it's not your main cup of tea. That's all I ever ask. I think I'm going to wander back into vignetts for a while just to get my own head back together :-)
ig_nobleigh: Brothers Eppesig_nobleigh on January 27th, 2008 05:43 pm (UTC)
Aw! That was perfect!

Oddly (being that I prefer happy endings) I like how you ended it with a commitment but that their relationship isn't perfect yet. It's more real, and very true to your characterizaton.

Hehe, I like the cheesegrater and koi threat... Well, as long as it doesn't get fulfilled!
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 27th, 2008 05:49 pm (UTC)
I like happy endings too. I just couldn't make 'and they lived happily ever after' work. I blame my mother. She always edited that out of my fairy tales. I wanted to give them happy as the could be under the circumstances. the boys have still got a long way to go.
(Anonymous) on January 28th, 2008 07:54 pm (UTC)
I'm glad that Don practically ordered Colby and Charlie into talking things out. Otherwise, it would have gone on forever. The ending was perfect. This Colby / Charlie couldn't realistically have the happy ever after that is in fairy tales, but they found happiness in admitting that they need and love each other. This was a poignant and heartfelt series. I hope it gets nominated. If it doesn't, then I guess I'll just have to sign up for LJ and do it.

Twins' Mom
ladygray99ladygray99 on February 1st, 2008 04:56 pm (UTC)
I'm working on a happily ever after. I've got a 4th part about a third written (at 80 pages) and am plotting out a fifth in my head. And Yes I did get nominated for this story. I even got nominated in one of the same categories as Irean_adler which just makes me feel sooooooo cool.