Log in

No account? Create an account
23 January 2008 @ 08:34 am
Sing My Body Electric - 3/8  

Title: Sing My Body Electric
Chapter: 3/8
Pairing: Charlie/Colby
Rating: NC-17, FRAO P SC GV
Disclaimer: Belongs to other people, not me.
Warnings/Squicks: Violence, Violent Sex, BDSM, and people talking about their feelings.
Summary: With love comes danger both from without and within. – Colby finds wants and needs
Previous chapters: 1  2
Notes: The long awaited much feared sequel to The Modern Man I Sing.   The second part of Whitman ‘verse. Here there be dragons. Some fairly violent sex here. This instalment earns all those letters I got after the rating.
Feedback: Feedback is love, constructive criticism is great, flames wont be tolerated.
Beta(s): The wonderful [info]riverotter1951 and[info]ri_setackled this fic, except for the bits I changed ten minutes ago.


Part 3

Taking Care, Body and Soul


Colby closed his door with as much of a slam as he could. ‘Fucking NSA!’ He thought ‘My case, my work, my bust! God damn thieving bastards!’ Colby thought as he stripped off his tie and guns. Charlie was waiting by the bedroom door, naked, on his knees, head bowed and breath coming so softly he could almost be asleep.

 Colby closed his eyes something twisting in him. “Charlie, please.” He tried to beg. He just wanted to get drunk, watch sports. Charlie didn’t move. “Charlie, come on.” He looked down. Charlie’s hands where on his thighs in loose fists. Colby saw a spot of red, a trickle of blood ran our from under one finger. Something in Colby snapped. It was the last straw of the day.

He yanked Charlie up by the hair and slammed his back to the wall.

“No!” He shouted. “You know better, it’s against the rules, you know better.” Charlie didn’t meet his eyes. Colby pushed Charlie into the bedroom. “It’s pain you want?” Colby hissed. “Out of control, out of your head? Fine!”

The first blow was across his thighs just above the knees where the skin was soft. Colby had yanked off the belt he’d had on that day. It wasn’t heavy but it was thin leaving raised patterns across the skin.

Charlie cried out with each blow, they came fast and hard nearly cutting the skin.

When Colby felt his arm get tired he stripped off the last of his clothes and dragged Charlie to the floor, the rough, utilitarian rug only adding a new level of pain to the fresh blows, dragging out fresh whimpers.

Charlie’s knees went over Colby’s shoulders.

“This is what you want.” Colby growled. There was no prep but spit and sweat. Charlie let out a scream but buried it in his own hand, his own erection never flagging. Colby thrust with no grace or care. Charlie came across his own belly but Colby continued eyes closed, head thrown back, striving for no release but his own.

When he came he collapsed on top of Charlie, his breath slowing and the red of his vision beginning to clear. Charlie looked up at him, clear eyed and soft smile.

“Feel better?” he asked.

“Hum?” Colby’s brain hadn’t quite started up again.

“You had a bad day. Feeling better?”

“Mmm yeah.” Colby brain suddenly caught up and he quickly pushed himself off Charlie. “What!?”

Charlie sat up and stretched languidly. “Saw you about to throttle that NSA guy. Figured you could use this.”

Colby jaw worked a few times his brain trying to process what Charlie had just said. “No!” he finally objected. “No. No. I don’t need this, it’s you and your thing and I...No!” Colby stood up and wrapped a discarded bath robe around him feeling strangely violated, yet he’d been the one doing the violating. Again. “I don’t need you to be a punching bag. I’m fine. I’m in control.”

“Not today you weren’t.” Charlie said softly sitting cross-legged on the floor. “They came in, took your case, your suspect, all your work down some black-ops hole.”

“That doesn’t mean I need to hurt you.”

“It’s not about pain Colby, not in here, not like this. It’s about control and surrender. You need power and control as much as I need release and surrender. Tonight the power is the release.”

Colby was pacing about the room trying to analyze what had just happened. “But I wasn’t in control, I could have killed you!”

Charlie shook his head and smiled softly. “No Colby. I would have said stop.” That stopped Colby dead in his tracks.

“Charlie, you’ve never said stop in your life.”

“Before I would let it go too long and was always too out of my head to say it and with you I trust so when I’m out of my head I don’t need to worry, it lets me go deeper, fly further. But in this bedroom it’s a matter of want not need and I can say stop.”

“I don’t believe you. And how do you know I even would?”

Charlie stood, Colby could see where the belt had wrapped around Charlie’s body leaving marks on his front and side. Colby felt ill. ‘I don’t need this, I don’t need this.’ He chanted to himself.

“Take my wrist Colby.” He looked at Charlie. “Please. I just want to demonstrate a principle.” Charlie sounded so much like he was about to explain something mathematical that Colby took his wrist. “Squeeze.”


“Squeeze like you were going to break it.”


“Just squeeze.” Charlie said sounding exasperated. Colby squeezed down on the wrist. “Harder.” Colby squeezed harder, he could see Charlie’s hand begin to turn colors and could feel the bones begin to bend. “Stop.” Charlie said quietly.

Colby’s hand flew open without a conscious thought, really before his brain had even properly registered the word. Colby looked at his hand and looked at Charlie.

“You’ve been waiting so long to hear me say stop, listened so hard for it, that you’ve burned a path into your brain. I say stop and you stop.” Colby was still a little in shock. Over a year and a half he’d waited for some sign that Charlie could show some self preservation. Colby gently put his arms around Charlie as he felt himself begin to shake. “It’s ok.” Charlie whispered “When you need to be a little out of your head I can stand guard, just like you do for me.”

“What if we’re both out of our heads?”

“Then I hope our better graces prevail.”


Charlie sat in his shorts as Doctor Goldman looked into his ears. This was part of the Arrangement, a full work up every six months with an understanding doctor. Charlie had no idea where Colby had found this guy, he had to be pushing seventy and he looked like he should be in some midwest country town making house calls. The first time they had come he had given Colby a long list of instructions on how to heal Charlie’s body before hurting it again. He had arranged for a full body MRI, and when it came time for the glass to be cut out of Charlie’s leg he had been willing to do it with a local and let Colby hold his hand through the entire thing, and at the end of almost three days of poking and prodding he’d informed Charlie that he’d seen worse and warned him to start watching his cholesterol now that he was over thirty.

“Deep breath.” Dr. Goldman said. “And out.” Dr. Goldman didn’t comment on the stripes across Charlie’s back. They weren’t open sores, raised or infected. He’d seen worse. “Very good Dr. Eppes.”

“Uh…” Charlie stuttered. “My name’s Emerson.”

Dr Goldman smiled. “My apologies professor. My eldest daughter is involved in cryptography and I noticed your picture in one of her journals last month. Didn’t understand two words of the article but she maintains you’re quite the genius.”

“Well...uh.” Charlie was in a bit of a panic.

“Oh don’t worry professor. 98% of my patients don’t give their real names and when it comes time to finance my lavish retirement in Fiji I have a dozen A-list celebrities to handle that.” The doctor half joked. Charlie had grown up in L.A. and always knew that celebrities could be a little weird but he was suddenly thinking which dozen were calling up Dr. Goldman in the middle of the night because something unusual got stuck somewhere it wasn’t meant to go. Charlie must have made a face because Dr. Goldman laughed. “No one you would suspect.” He said. That just made for even weirder images to float through Charlie’s mind. “And I believe I saw your partner on the evening news a couple of weeks ago.” Charlie winced.

“Yeah. They all kinda got in trouble for that. They’re supposed to keep off the news in case they need to go undercover or something.”

“Well Agent Granger did a good thing for the city so I hope he didn’t take too much flack.” Charlie just shrugged. It had been a bad case and Colby had actually come over to his house after the news report. They had sat in the garage for hours and Charlie had just held him.

“All right, shorts off.” Charlie sighed. He didn’t know why he was embarrassed but he always was. The only thing that made it worth it was that in a few minutes Colby would be going through the same thing. It was the quid pro quo clause in the Arrangement. Dr Goldman made a tisking sound. “Now those scabs look self inflicted and if I recall that is a big no in your situation.”

Charlie flushed a little. “Um…yeah. Colby was having a bad day about a week ago and uh...he wasn’t going to...um...let it out unless I pushed a couple of buttons.” Dr. Goldman gave Charlie a look that made him feel like he was six and had been caught rearranging Don’s baseball cards. “I cleaned my nails first.” Charlie said a need to defend his actions.

“Well they don’t look infected but if you’re planning on changing the nature of your Arrangement as your doctor I’d like to be kept informed.” Charlie nodded. “Now turn around.”

Charlie turned around and spread his legs. Normally this would be a happy position but under the circumstances he just tried to close his eyes and think of England or more accurately the square root of two. Dr. Goldman made another tisking sound.

“Lubrication Dr. Eppes. This should not be a difficult concept to remember for an intelligent man such as yourself.” Charlie felt himself blush. “Alright you can get dressed.” Charlie quickly pulled on his shorts while the doctor wrote in a file bearing the name Christian Emerson. “You know professor sooner or later you’re going to have to consider other means of entertaining yourself. Now you’re still reasonably young, you heal. At 40, 50, 70 you won’t. You’ll bump into a door knob and it’ll bruise for weeks.”

“I know. I’m working it.” Charlie lied. He couldn’t contemplate how he would find release from numbers in his old age if he couldn’t feel that spark of pain across his nervous system. Maybe something involving electricity. Charlie pulled his shirt over his head and Dr. Goldman opened the door and motioned Colby in.

Colby looked to Charlie first. ‘He knows our names.’ Charlie mouthed hoping Colby could read lips a little. Colby’s eyes instantly went to Dr. Goldman and his hand moved towards his gun.

“Don’t worry Agent Granger. As I was telling Professor Eppes, 98% of my patients don’t give their real names. Haven’t in decades. Such is the nature of the practice and I’ve been looking after far more important people doing far stranger things than you two since before either of you were born.”

“Oh.” Was Colby’s simple reply.

“And can I just say that as a husband, father and grandfather of wonderful women thank you for getting that North End Rapist bastard off the streets.”

“Well it was a team effort.”

“I’m sure. Now strip down. Dr. Eppes you can wait in the hall.” Charlie gave Colby a quick kiss on the cheek and left the room. Colby striped down to his shorts but put his gun in easy reach.

Dr. Goldman turned around from filling out Charlie’s chart. “Oh dear. Agent Granger how did you manage that?” Colby looked down at the large bruise across his right ribs.

“I kind of got shot.”

“Oh my.” He leaned in for a closer look. “When?”

“About two days ago.”

“I’m assuming you were wearing your vest?”

“God bless Kevlar.”

“Any serious internal damage?”

“Nope, just a heck of a bruise. Looks worse than it feels.”

Dr. Goldman looked closely where the bullet had obviously impacted the vest. It was a dark purple blotch about the size of his thumb nail and the rest of the bruise was radiating out from that point. “Well you are very lucky. With your permission might I document it for comparative reference?” Colby gave the doctor a suspicious look. “I try to document any new form of injury I see and what caused it. It makes it easier to separate fun and game from something potentially more serious.”

“If people are shooting each other for fun and games I’d be worried.”

“You’d be surprised by the things I’ve seen Agent Granger.”

“I’m sure I would. Go ahead.”

Dr. Goldman pulled a good digital camera out of a drawer and proceeded to set it for close-up pictures.

“Unfortunately due to the nature of my practice I occasionally see the results of acts that were less than consensual. People seldom press charges out of fear or shame, but I always document to legal standards and was taking DNA samples in the 70’s.”

Colby’s ears pricked up. “Really?” A police minded doctor was a rare thing.

“Yes. Sad to say I have a whole fridge full of them.”

“Have you ever gone to the police?”

“I don’t have real addresses for half my patients and most are not willing to explain why they have my name to begin with. I keep track of the kinds of things I see. Most is the result of drunkenness or meanness or stupidity. Though truthfully I could have serial predators on ice in the back room but if no one will come forward and say ‘I was a victim’ there’s not much I can do.” Colby nodded understanding the doctor’s frustration. Dr. Goldman turned the camera around so Colby could see the pictures.

“Eww. It doesn’t look that bad in the mirror.”

“It never does. Now what kind of weapon was used?”

“.38 Beretta Special, of all the stupid things, from about 15 yards. No internal damage but the bullet went through a thick piece of wood first, slowed it down, would have broken ribs otherwise.” Dr. Goldman wrote the information down in a file named James Hoover.

“Very good. Now, open up and say ahh.”


The thing about Dr. Goldman’s office was it looked normal, and everyone in the waiting room looked normal, at least if you didn’t look to close. Ok the biker thug looked a little out of place but the Stepford wife standing next to him with her hand firmly on his shoulder could have come from just about anywhere.

Charlie and Colby were about to walk out the door when a woman walked in. Some people slide through life, others can make a grand entrance by opening a store front door. Colby almost missed the small man in tweed that followed behind her. What Colby didn’t miss was Charlie freezing up next to him.

“Charles.” The woman greeted with a warm smile.

“Hello Hanna.” Charlie stuttered out, blinking in surprise. Colby looked at the woman with suspicion. Only Larry called Charlie ‘Charles’ and he certainly didn’t put that much flair into it.

“It’s been a long time. Good to see you’re well?”

“Well as I’ve ever been.” Charlie replied with a quick smile.

The woman looked at Colby with almost as suspicious a look as he had given her. “And who is this?”

Colby held out his hand. “Colby Granger.” The hand shake he got was far stronger than he had expected and didn’t let go.

“Hanna Shapiro.”

“Um...I’m going to bring the car around.” Charlie said quickly and rushed out the door.

“It’s good to see Charlie is still alive.” Hanna said casually but with a hard look in her eyes. “I figured he was dead at the hands of some sadistic freak by now.”

Colby felt the grip tighten. A distinct threat was being made.

“Not if I have any say in it.” Colby replied. Hanna looked him up and down taking note of the clean cut looks, strong build, oh and the gun. Hanna gave a nod.

“Good.” She said and continued into the office.

Colby double timed his walk to catch up with Charlie.

Charlie was standing by the car looking a little embarrassed.

“So who was that?”

“Ah...Hanna Shapiro.”

“I got the name. What else?”

“She’s...ah...kinda a dominatrix.”

“Kinda a dominatrix?”

“Well she also has a doctorate and psychology and another in English lit.”

Colby nodded. That would actually have been a good combination for Charlie. She certainly would have had a better idea of what was going on in his head than Colby did some days. “You would go to her?” Colby asked not really needing the answer.

“Sometimes, when I could afford it, and she had time.”


“And exclusive. You need a masters’ degree just to get her email.”

“That shouldn’t have been a problem for you.”

Charlie shrugged. “Did she say anything?”

“Just that she’d been worried about you and there was a rather implied threat.”

Charlie winced. “I wasn’t...I wasn’t in great shape last time I saw her and...uh...I bought the house after that so there was a little more drain and scrutiny into my finances and I guess I never really called her.”

“Do you want to go back to her?” Colby asked not really wanting the answer. Once you got past the imposing presence she was a beautiful woman and with two Ph.Ds certainly had a brain pan closer to Charlie’s than his.

Charlie’s head shot up. “No. Why?”

“Well, just she’s a professional, and obviously smart.”

“So? I have you.” Charlie replied looking very confused.

Colby smiled. He’d been hoping for that answer but not necessarily expecting it. “Ok. No problem. Let’s get back to work.”


Previous  Next


irena_adler: Charlieirena_adler on January 22nd, 2008 08:24 pm (UTC)
Good, smart doctor, Good, moral Dom. Good to see. :)
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 22nd, 2008 09:10 pm (UTC)
Thanks. This doctor originally had a much larger part and came back later in the story but I re organized a chunk of the story and he got cut. Might bring him back in the sequel 'cause he's so much fun. Same with Hanna.
And I always appreciate your feedback.
kabloinko: Charbykabloinko on January 22nd, 2008 10:27 pm (UTC)
Nicely done :) Liked the itty bitty cute part in the end, but I also want to smack Charlie in the head for being so fucked up and calculating :/
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 22nd, 2008 10:34 pm (UTC)
Just 'cause Charlie is fucked up doesn't mean he's stupid. If he focuses his genius on getting what he wants no one stands a chance.
Queen of Useless Knowledge: Pornlessdemarcos_btoast on January 22nd, 2008 10:30 pm (UTC)
Wow, Colby is really head over heels for Charlie if he's looking for validation from him now..... More than usual than in a relationship, that is. :D

Still loving it!
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 22nd, 2008 11:36 pm (UTC)
Well it ain't exactly a usual relationship. :)
Queen of Useless Knowledge: Phildemarcos_btoast on January 23rd, 2008 12:06 am (UTC)
You ain't just whistlin' Dixie...
Devo79devo79 on January 22nd, 2008 11:22 pm (UTC)
great chapter.......love it!
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 22nd, 2008 11:35 pm (UTC)
Thank you :-)
shara50 on January 23rd, 2008 12:33 am (UTC)
Very well done but poor Colby I feel for his confusion.
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 23rd, 2008 01:11 am (UTC)
And this is the light before the storm *eg*
Gwaihiril: Megan Numb3rsgwaihiril on January 23rd, 2008 03:22 am (UTC)
I'd enjoy it if you brought back Dr. Goldman or Hanna. You have a knack for making minor (and original) characters interesting and unique. I like how they obviously care for Charlie and Colby. I also like how Charlie is becoming more attached and attuned to Colby - yeah, he was manipulative at the beginning, but the ending was nice, how he didn't understand why he would want anyone else when he could have Colby.
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 23rd, 2008 06:18 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I try to write my OC's so the feel like they could come naturally from the N3 universe. I want them to feel like they're more than one of exposition characters. If I do them right they feel more like Edgerton, Lt. Walker or Howard Meeks, someone I can pull out when I need to for a story and it doesn't feel contrived.
And yeah, Charlie has some preconceived notions of what people want from him and he has a hard time realizing that maybe Colby wants something a little different.
fredbassettfredbassett on January 23rd, 2008 08:02 pm (UTC)
I agree with Irena, I love the doctor too, and it would be great to see more of him:)
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 23rd, 2008 09:22 pm (UTC)
He'll be back in the next major sequel. Don's going to need his help but not how you think *eg*
(Anonymous) on January 24th, 2008 06:02 pm (UTC)
It seems that Colby just may need Charlie just as much as Charlie needs Colby, but I don't think Colby wants to consciously go there in his mind. I love the good doctor who takes care of the bodies of his deviant patients, all without judgment (there needs to be more like him in the world). And the dom sound very intriguing.

Just when I think I'm starting to get caught up on your stories, you go and write a bunch!! Not that I'm complaining (definitely NOT), it's just going to take me longer than I thought to get caught up.

Twins' Mom
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 25th, 2008 08:59 pm (UTC)
Oh Colby needs Charlie all right, he just needs to ask himself what he's willing to do to keep him.

I actually read a book once on how to talk to your doctor about BDSM. I wrote a throw away line in the first story that Charlie has to see a doctor every six months and I was trying to figure out how to do it then I realized in LA you can get a doctor that specializes in damn near anything. Ended up liking Goldman so much he's coming back for a bit in part 4.
ig_nobleigh: Brothers Eppesig_nobleigh on January 27th, 2008 02:49 am (UTC)
I don't have much time to leave a lavish comment as I'm off to read the rest of "I Sing" but I have one little nit-pick. I know I would want to know so maybe you do too?

“Well, just she’s a professional, and obviously smart.”

“So? I have you.” Charlie replied *very looking* confused.

One more thing: Aw! Colby's insecure...and Charlie doesn't notice. Typical.
ladygray99ladygray99 on January 27th, 2008 04:25 pm (UTC)
Thank you. It's amazing the things I can look at a hundred times and never notice. :-)
Icarus Iso: Tribal Tiger - Remixicarus_iso on August 25th, 2008 10:27 am (UTC)
I love your OC's. The whole 'stop' part was brilliant, and Colby right at the end asking Charlie if he'd prefer Hanna. Brilliant.
ladygray99ladygray99 on August 25th, 2008 07:41 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :-)
(Deleted comment)
ladygray99ladygray99 on November 24th, 2008 12:03 am (UTC)
Thank you. That's always good to hear.
laura_trekkielaura_trekkie on January 15th, 2009 09:52 am (UTC)
I was glad to see Charlie looking out for Colby, knowing he needed to deal with his bad day and giving him a situation that would allow him to do it. After the talk with the shrink, though, there's a part of me wondering whether even that was one of Charlie's mind games. I mean, he pushed Colby's buttons to make him let go, but was that all it was, or was there more manipulative stuff going on in Charlie's brain?

Yet, then we get that end scene. We know Colby loves Charlie, but we don't know what Charlie's feelings are. But when Colby asked if he'd prefer to go back to Hanna, Charlie's reaction seemed genuine, so I think there's definitely something there. They need to talk more, though, I think; really put their cards on the table.

ladygray99ladygray99 on January 15th, 2009 06:27 pm (UTC)
The problem with Charlie is he's not used to people having feelings for him. He's mainly use to people wanting to use his body. He's having a hard time believing that Colby really wants more. It's a pattern of behavior that's going to take a long time for Charlie to get out of.
fractalmoonfractalmoon on November 25th, 2012 02:39 am (UTC)
More amazement! Others have already said most of what I thought, better. Charlie running the opening scene was fascinating and complicated. I love his underlying cockiness, even when he's being a manipulative so and so. And Dr. Goldman and Hanna were wonderful, and original.
ladygray99ladygray99 on November 25th, 2012 04:05 pm (UTC)
Hanna was another character that was meant to have a bigger part but when the plot changed she ended up mostly getting cut. Dr. Goldman does come back in the next. He's too much fun not to.